Have you ever had something that you need to get off your chest, but you just absolutely cannot? When you love someone, I really think it should be your mission to let this person know just how important they are to you. It hurts like hell when things go left unsaid between two people. We lose contact and means of communication with certain people for many different reasons. No matter what the reason is, you should strive to fix the miscommunication, or be forced to live with regret forever.
Sometimes an argument drives a wedge between two people, and it seems like that wound will never heal. In an argument, I will fight to the bitter end. But once it's over, I'm ready to forgive and forget. I wish everyone was like this. Grudges don't solve anything. I can't imagine a fight so bad that it separates two people for good. But it happens. It's terrible, and it's real. An argument, to me, should be about getting all of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions out in the open, and dealing with them. Hurting someone you care about should not be the goal or result of an argument. What if those hurtful things were the absolute last things you got to say to a person?
Death is a painful thing, and it hurts even more when you feel like things were left unsaid. I lost my Grandpa to cancer over a year ago. I loved him so much, and we were very close. When he was fighting the cancer towards the end of his life, I was in a relationship. A stupid, and meaningless little high school relationship. I live with regret every day of my life because I chose spending time with my boyfriend over my dying Grandpa. I was so wrapped up in myself and this relationship, that I was blind to what was really important. I thought I was in love with this guy, but I didn't know what love was. Looking back, I now see what love is and was. My Grandpa had lung cancer, and towards the end he lost the ability to speak. The very last, clear words he said to me were "I love you with my whole heart." I know he did, which is why I disgust myself with how little time I spent around him in the end. I think I was afraid of dealing with the fact that I was losing my Grandpa, so I wrapped myself up in this relationship to hide from reality. The reality is that I lost precious time with someone I loved because I was afraid.
I know we're all afraid at one point or another, but life requires us to be strong, and get over our fears. If you truely love someone, you shouldn't waste a second being angry, or afraid to tell them how you feel. Lately I have been struggling with some feelings and confusion. I have been dying to talk to someone that I lost communication with about a month ago. I really love and care about this person, and not speaking to them is really hurting me. We ended all communication in probably the dumbest way ever. I feel like there is so much left to be said, but I can't contact this person. They have made themselves impossible to get in touch with. That fact alone hurts me. At one point we promised to never hurt one another, but it happened. I want to fix it, but I don't know how. I feel very helpless, and afraid that I have really lost this person forever.
Maybe the fact that I can't talk to this person is the universe's way of telling me to move on. Perhaps this is the point in which I'm supposed to be strong, and get over my fears. It's just really hard, and scary. I am truely afraid. I have amazing people in my life, and I feel like these untied ends are holding me back in some way. Maybe they're holding this person back too. I might never know how they feel. It's just, when I said I would be this person's bestfriend, and I wanted them in my life forever, I meant it. It's hard facing the fact that this person might never be in my life again.
In hopes of making sure I'm never faced with another situation in which words are left unsaid, I'm really trying to live my life with an open heart, mind, and mouth. I've been accused of having a big mouth before and not knowing when to keep it shut. But I really don't think I can go on worrying about this anymore. I have tried to hold my tongue long enough. I am a passionate person. Like I said earlier, I will fight to the bitter end. But I will also love with all that I have. I'm willing to fight for love, and fight for the people I love.
I guess the goal of this post is to wake people up. Don't set yourself up to live with regret. Losing someone you love hurts, so if you truely love them, make sure they know how much. Don't let your pride, or your fear get in the way of something beautiful. Cherish the time you have with those you love. You never know when you won't get the chance to let them know how you feel. Then I guess a part of me wrote this post in hopes that some way, somehow, the person I've lost communication with would get to read it. Even if they don't reach out to me, I would feel better knowing that they know how I feel.
So my challenge for you: Don't live with regret, and don't let things go left unsaid. If you care about someone, prove it.
Lindsey. Twenty-Five. Currently pursuing a degree in Professional Writing & Film Studies.