As the holidays edge closer, I find myself in a state of almost constant reflection. I look back at the past year, and look forward to the following one. If it hasn't become apparent enough already, I live for nostalgia. I even did the unthinkable - gasp - I created a new Facebook account. I know, I hardly recognize myself as well. I hate everything about the gossipy little site. I just found myself craving interactions with the people from my past. I have been relatively isolated for the past, oh, almost two years. Isolation has always been somewhat comforting to me, but ultimately it's, well, isolating. No one can thrive without the energy of others, particularly the energy of those you care - or at least once cared - about.
The approaching holidays are a reminder of the impending Spring Semester. I am terrified of going back to school. I haven't been in a classroom since 2012. I know I am not a complete fool, but I know I will feel very behind when I begin classes. On top of everything, I don't even get to register for classes until January 8, and classes begin on the 11th. I have quickly found that my school does not give a single turtle shit about transfer students - good to know! My anxiety feeds off of feeling unprepared, and that registration schedule makes it next to impossible for me to prepare myself for anything. It's very " 'Here are your classes!' *Kicks ass into classroom." I'm trying to remain as calm as possible about it all, though.
I think that's another reason I created another Facebook account. Seeing my old friends kind of transports me back a few years, when I was in school, and the world hadn't fully tarnished me. The only thing is that pretty much everyone I used to know is now married and or having a baby. Imma pass on that, thanks.
I know that ultimately, going back to school will work out for the best. I crave knowledge like oxygen. I love learning. I have decided to be a double English major. It is a heavy workload, but it allegedly has a lot of potential career prospects. I just want to write - in some capacity. Writing is the the only thing in my life that has consistently brought me peace and happiness. It is also the only subject that I ever showed any genuine potential in. I want to see the world, and I have faith that my intended degree will help me do so. I have always had this deep seeded desire to change the world, and in my opinion the best way to do that is through communication. Communication is the root of everything. We can never grow as individuals if we don't make an effort to connect to those around around us. Language and communication is the best way to connect. I have never been very good at learning other languages, but I know I am capable of connecting people through the written word. All of our experiences are unique, and yet, we all share common threads. By finding the commonalities you share with someone else, you not only grow to know them, but you find a greater understanding for yourself along the way.
So, yeah, I'm terrified of the unknown, but also excited. School is just a stepping stone towards my next big goal. This holiday season, I intend to look around me, and count every blessing. I am so grateful for this life. I challenge you to take a leap of faith, truly look to discover your passions, and find the quickest route to achieving them. We are capable of anything, as long as we listen to ourselves and love others.
Lindsey. Twenty-Five. Currently pursuing a degree in Professional Writing & Film Studies.