After spending some time around my friends and family and being observant, or being a creeper (either way) I've started to wonder what it takes to make people feel loved. I know we're all different, but I just find people's ideas about love completely fascinating. For some people it can be a touch, a look, a saying. It doesn't always take something theatrical for there to be an understood feeling of love between two people.
Some people are cuddlers. I was with one of my bestfriends yesterday, and she said that she hadn't been able to cuddle with anyone in a long time. It obviously made her kind of upset. I am not a cuddler. I've never been a very touchy feely person, so if you can get a hug out of me, you know I care about you. So when she was talking about not being able to cuddle in a long time, I just kind of wrote it off at first. Then I started thinking, maybe for her to feel loved, and comforted, she needs that physical closeness. It makes sense too, I mean you can't get much closer to another person than when you're wrapped up in eachother's arms. My friend, and I'm sure many others, associate a physical connection (not neccesarily a sexual one) with a real feeling of love.
I noticed my parents the other day, and they aren't super physical or touchy feely. They don't hug and kiss all the time or anything, but it's obvious that they love eachother. Even after 20 years of marriage. I began to wonder what it was that made their love for eachother so apparent, even without tons of hugs and kisses. I really think it's the way they communicate with eachother. Clearly they are super comfortable with one another. They can fight like crazy one second, and be cutting up ten minutes later. I don't think fighting is healthy at all, but the way they fight, and the things they fight over are always aimed at trying to help or protect the other person. Then there are the ways in which they cut up with one another. There is so much laughter in my house, I love it. I think all great relationships have a common thread, the ability to make the person you love laugh. I mean, who wants to be stuck with someone that can't make you laugh, and doesn't get your sense of humor? Laughter is the best medicine, and I think it adds to the longevity of a relationship.
They say the eyes are the windows into our souls, and I really believe this. If you ever watch someone when they are around the person they love, you can see a special look in their eyes. A smile from within that exposes itself briefly in their eyes. It's like there is a special look, reserved for that one person that makes them whole. When my Grandpa was still alive, I used to catch him staring at my Grandma. They were the funniest couple ever, they argued all the time. My Grandma could be sitting on the couch, refusing to talk, or even look at my Grandpa, and yet he'd be staring at her with a spark behind his eyes, and a little smirk on his face. It's like he was thinking, "This woman is absolutely crazy, and I'm crazy for her." That is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. Now that my Grandpa has passed, I can be with my Grandma looking at old photographs, and she'll see a picture of my Grandpa. There is obvious sadness and longing behind her eyes, but there's also a slight smile on her face. She's obviously looking at the face of the man she loves with all of her being.
After observing everyone around me, and their love induced actions, I started to wonder about myself. What do I do when I'm in love? How do I act? What do I need in order to feel loved, and how do I show love in return? With me, I don't need a physical connection. Sure, it can be nice and wonderful. I just don't HAVE to have it. I love the idea of a sincere look of love. It seems so beautiful and powerful to me. I just don't know if I do it though. I believe the best way for me to give love and feel love is through communication. I like hearing how people feel. I am never good with spoken words, but if I say I love you, I do. I've also noticed, that I have a funny way of showing love. If I pick on someone, or cut up with them, that's my way of saying I love you. I can't take myself seriously, and I always feel awkward trying to be sentimental. So I goof off, and make fun of the people I care about. It's weird, I know, but it's who I am, and what I do. Love is a crazy thing, so I guess it makes sense that I'm totally crazy around the people I love.
So my question for you: How do you act when you're in love? What do you need to feel loved, and how do you show love?
Lindsey. Twenty-Five. Currently pursuing a degree in Professional Writing & Film Studies.