Once again, something I've said on here has gotten me in trouble in my personal life. One hand I feel like it's a good thing that I'm so honest on here. Then again, some of the brutally honest things I say end up hurting the people I care about most. The things I write are a collection of my thoughts at any given moment. My thoughts, feelings, and emotions are anything but static. What I say I'm feeling in one post can be miles about from what I feel 20 minutes after writing it.
I don't want to call myself emotionally unstable, that's notreally true. My emotions are just very scattered. I believe that's one of the things that makes relationships so unstable for me. I can be madly in love with someone one day, then just wake up completely out of love. Then give me some time and a little personal reflection, and I'm in love again. I sound like a crazy person when writing that, but it's true. I just wonder if that's normal, or healthy.
I know I don't have the healthiest thoughts about myself, so maybe what I feel for other people is unhealthy too. Relationships to me are like really acidic foods. They taste great, but all the while they're eating away my insides. Eventually I have to give something up, the great taste or my personal health.
I have no idea where my unhealthy relationship with relationships comes from. My parents have a seemingly normal and healthy relationship. So I've always had a very stable role model when it comes to love. TV always glamorizes love, so one would assume if I was going to have unhealthy expectations when it comes to love, I would have high expectations, not low ones.
Maybe some people are just meant to be alone. They say there's a soulmate for everyone, but there's not an even number of people in this world. So how can that be? I read somewhere that the average person falls in love ten times before getting married. With my track record, I'll be lucky to fall in love three times. Does this mean I'll never get married?
Marriage is all about stability, but what happens to those of us that are emotionally disconnected? My head and heart are never aligned it seems. I know that a lot of people have some issues when it comes to dating and expressing their emotions, but my issues seem to be greater than the average person.
Maybe I just need to speak with a therapist. Then again, I'm only twenty, are we as young adults expected to have everything about life and love figured out already? I get that we're supposed to learn from our experiences, but what if all of my experiences seem to fall into the same pattern? Clearly I'm not learning what I'm supposed to.
It's like I'm being handed all of these opportunities for love and happiness but I passively let them slip away. I know a lot of my issues spring from fear, but you would think I would learn by now that we sometimes have to face our fears. But what am I really so afraid of?
I talk myself out of my feelings for people. I am the hardest on the people I love most. I smile in the face of my enemies and spit in the face of my friends and family. Sure that's an exaggeration, but it's a pretty small one unfortunately. I feel like something is wrong with me. Im emotionally unaligned. I feel like I've cut my umbilical cord that connected me to reality. I'm slowly suffocating from my lack of clarity.
I want to live and love and love like a normal person would. There's no clear definition of normal, but I want to be in touch with my emotions. Instead of hiding from my feelings, I want to embrace them. If I love or care about someone I want my feelings to be clear to them. I'm tired of hiding behind this wall I've built to keep people out of my heart. I'm not just talking about potential relationships, I shut my family and friends out of my personal life too.
So ultimately I want to be more open, with myself and those around me. Sure I'm open on my blog, but these fragments of my feelings don't even come close to fully expressing what I feel on the inside. They are simply snapshots of this massive roll of film that is my life.
So here's my Challenge to you: Since I'm going to try to be more open with my feelings, I want you to do the same. Stop hiding behind your mind, and let your heart take center stage for once.
Hello Loves, sorry I've not posted anything in a while. I have been insanely busy lately. That's a great thing though! It's finally Christmas break, and I am officially 20 years old. I had an amazing birthday. I was surrounded by my family and closest friends. I am a very lucky girl. I'm beginning to fall in love again. I'm starting to love who I am; love this life I've been given, and love the amazing people around me. I definitely believe sometimes things have to fall apart so better things can fall together. I was in a very dark place a couple weeks ago. I was lost.
I think one big problem is that I was surrounding myself with the wrong people. People that were just as lost as I was. I was in a relationship, but I wasn't mysef. I didn't realize it at the time, but after some reflection, I noticed that I had slowly been losing myself along the way while I stayed in that relationship. I was trying to fit a mold that just wasn't me. I feel like I made the best choice for everyone in ending that relationship. I really wanted to salvage the friendship that was the foundation of the union, but it's become very apparent that's not possible at this time. I think he's trying to erase me from his life, instead of just appreciating what was, and moving on with what it is now.
Speaking of moving on, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm trying to focus my attention on my writing, and my relationships with family and friends. This Christmas is going to be a great one, I can already feel it. I'm looking forward to the feeling of rebirth that Christmas and the New Year brings. I believe 2012 is going to be a good year for me. A lot of changes will take place, but they'll ultimately shape me into a better person. I'm truly blessed, and I'm thankful for this life I'm living.
So my Challenge for You: Take a look at your life, and appreciate all the beauty and blessings around you. And remember: We only get one shot at this whole life thing.
It’s like I'm spiraling out of control. That's the best way I can put it at this moment. I feel like I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions and it's only a matter of time before a part of me gets stretched too far. It's my own fault. I think I've been living in a fantasy world for quite sometime. I've been trying to fit into a mold that I thought was right for me. It’s starting to become very clear that I just don’t belong in this mold. I’ve been trying to be perfect for so many people. I’m beginning to see the cracks I left while trying to hurry and conform. I’m starting to feel like Dorian Gray when he saw the painting of his own face for the first time. (Well, he died, but from shock). I’m shocked at the person I’ve become.
On one hand, I’ve been striving to better my life and health. I’ve become a vegetarian, and I’m trying to eat as healthy as possible. I’m trying to get regular exercise; all of the things a physician would be proud of. A psychiatrist on the other hand would probably we appalled. I’ve lost sight of who I really am. I used to be this vivacious, deeply spiritual girl, who knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. Now, however, I feel like I’ve dead bolted myself to the floor. I’m trapped by this person I’ve become, a person that I don’t even recognize.
Maybe I’ve not lost sight of myself; perhaps we’re all just in a constant state of evolution. I’m evolving quicker than I can come to terms with. I want to grow, and better myself, but I also want to get back to my roots. I want to bring back the girl that prayed every night. The girl that took on art projects in her spare time, and was constantly scribbling in a journal, or tinkering on her piano. The girl that reveled in her independence, and wasn’t afraid of being alone. I miss the girl that wasn’t going to change for anyone.
But here I sit, changed.
I’ve been lying to myself and those around me. I’m not happy. I don’t know what I need to be happy anymore. It’s like I’ve been painting this elaborate watercolor, but I got carried away. I was too confident. Now all of the colors have just ran into one another and created an ugly shade of grey. I’m sick of faking a smile for the people around me. I want to be truly happy again. I need to paint over all this grey with some vibrancy. I think I just need to focus on making myself happy again, all on my own. Sure, it’s wonderful having people in your life that try to make you happy. Ultimately though, you have to make yourself happy before anyone else can.
I need to remind myself of what truly makes me happy. No one can do that for me. I guess this is the part where I go off and do some soul searching. I just desperately want to get out of this funk that I’ve been in lately.
My Challenge to you: If you’re lost, go find yourself. If you find the piece of me that I seem to be missing, please return it to its owner.
I don't think I've ever been so relieved to hear another persons voice on the phone in my life. I've been super worried about someone for weeks. It's hard enough being far away from someone you love and care about, especially when they are thousands of miles away. You cherish every second that you get to communicate with that person. My contact with this person dropped off the face of the earth two weeks ago, and I went through every emotion imaginable. I was worried, sad, angry, confused, you name an emotion, I felt it.
I just got off the phone with them, and I honestly feel like the biggest weight ever has been lifted off of my shoulders. Then at the same time, I'm still so worried for and about them. They explained the reason for the communication hault. It is terrifying; something I could never imagine going through, and would never wish upon my worst enemy. Being so far away, I just wish I could do something. I just feel helpless. I want to be there for them so bady it hurts. I want to comfort them, and make them know that everything is alright.
They were worried that I would be mad at them for not talking to me, but I pride myself in being a pretty understanding person. Then when they explained what happened, it would be physically impossible for me not to understand. Like I said earlier, I was just so ridiculously happy to hear their voice, and know that they are okay, despite what they're going through.
I honestly feel horrible for even being mad at them for even a second. I guess the point of this post is to signify a shift in mood finally, and share my relief with all of you. Also, I just want to mention how important it is not to jump to conclusions. No matter how crazy things get, if you really care about someone, give them the benefit of the doubt. This world is a crazy place, you never know what can happen from one day to the next.
So my Challenge for you: Think before you react, and cherish all the time you get with the ones you love and care for.
Bullying. It's been everywhere in the news recently. It doesn't shock me that it's still happening at this day and age, but what does shock me is the number of people affected by it. Furthermore, the number of people that commit suicide because of bullying. The most recent statistics say that in the last year alone, 1 in 12 teens attempted suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens and adolescents. As a young person that has dealt with bullying first hand, and knows many people that have suffered through it as well, I just wanted to share my experiences with you.
I've actually been on both ends of the bullying spectrum. When I was in elementary school, there was this one girl that was really different from everyone else. All of the students in our grade made fun of her, and really alienated her from everyone else. We were all 8 and 9 years old, so a lot of the bullying was just follow the leader stuff. If one person was making fun of this girl, everyone else joined in. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that at this age, anything different is seen as a bad. Individuality need not apply in grade school. Everyone was trying to fit in. So when I saw the other people around me teasing this girl, I joined in.
At this time, I was having a lot of trouble opening up and being social. I used to have social anxiety, and when I was in elementary school, my mom stuck me in like a little focus group ran by my guidance counselor. This group was for girls that were shy, and needed help opening up with all of the other students. It was a group designed to make us feel comfortable around eachother, and help us make friends. The girl that everyone made fun of was also in this group. Even though everyone in the little group obviously had a lot in common, we somehow still managed to alienate this girl. When we'd do little projects in there, we'd all snicker at her work, and make really hurtful comments about her.
In hindsight, where everything is clear, none of us knew this girl's backstory. She could have been abused, or treated badly at home. She could of had a learning disability that made her seem a little off to our 8 year old minds. Who knows? The point is, what made any one of us think that we had the right to make fun of this girl? At this time in our lives, none of us know who we are. We're all just figuring stuff out as we go. I just wish that I would have stopped, and thought about my actions instead of following the crowd, and making fun of a girl that I knew nothing about. To this day, I wonder what ever happened to that girl. Because after elementary school, I never saw her again.
I guess the universe decided to give me a dose of my own medicine once I reached middle school and high school. I don't know what it is about girls, but instead of banding together, girl power style, we are really mean to eachother. Even the girls that we claim are our friends, will still get talked about behind their backs. I was constantly made fun of, and teased from 6th grade up until 12th grade. It was miserable. The sad part is, I know that the extent of the bullying I went through is nothing compared to what so many people try to endure on a daily basis.
My own sister opened up to me about the bullying she went through in middle school, and still goes through now that she's a sophmore in high school. When she began describing the horrible things that people said to and about her, I instantly became furious. Not only is she my baby sister, the person that I would fight and die for in an instant, she's also the prettiest and sweetest person anyone will ever be lucky enough to meet. I believe a lot of the name calling and backstabbing comes from a place of jealousy towards her. She's beautiful inside and out. This girl has the kindest heart ever. Such a kind person does not deserve the negative remarks and snide comments she receives pretty much on a daily basis.
No one deserves to be made fun of, or called names. We're all beautiful in our own ways. An ugly face can't hide a beautiful heart. Futhermore, all of the makeup in the world can't conceal an ugly heart or spirit. So if you're going through hell, and people are calling you names, ignore it. Be the better person. Karma is real, what goes around comes around. I got a dose of my own medicine, and the people that are making fun of you will get what they deserve too.
The world is such a hard place to survive in these days. We really don't need the added pressure of bullying to be constantly looming over our heads. Putting someone down doesn't make you above them. That temporary high you feel when you're making someone feel like they're worthless is really only temporary. As long as they can be strong enough to look past your words and actions, they will always rise above you. We all really need to look within and find our own truths. You know if you're being a good person or not. If you find yourself looking in the mirror, and realizing that you have a foul heart, I suggest you start working really hard to correct it. We only get one shot at this thing called life, so why not strive to make it an enjoyable place for not only yourself, but everyone around you.
So my challenge for you is to: Stay strong is you're dealing with bullying. You can overcome it. Your life is valuable and you are anything but worthless. If you are being a bully, you need to have a serious conversation with yourself, and find what it is that's making you feel the need to put someone else down. You might not want to confront the truth, but you need to.
I've kind of started to notice the fact that I'm so guarded is becoming a detriment to my life. Other than the things I write, I don't really share much about myself with the outside world. Not even with the people closest to me. I think this is causing those around me to make judements about me based on no factual evidence at all. Some of these judements can be positive, as in people assume I'm a much better person than I actually am. But they can also be bad, as in I'm a heartless or cold person.
I think the things I say can be misinterpreted too easily. I'm a sarcastic person, and I'm also a very defensive person. I don't like being judged or having my motives for things questioned. These two things seem to always be happening in my life. Just the other day, I overheard two girls from one of my classes talking about me as I walked past them. I have known one of the girls since preschool, and I have no idea who the other girl is. The girl that I don't know said to the other "Is that girl a bitch or something? She's always walking around like she's better than everyone." The girl I've known for a long time replied with "No, she's not a bitch, she's just never talked much. . ." By this point I was out of earshot and couldn't hear the rest of the conversation, but I was really offended by it. I mean I'm glad the girl that knows me set the other girl straight, but I still don't know what would even make the other girl think I'm a bitch.
Unless I know you, I'm a terribly shy person. In class, I don't speak up or carry on conversations with those around me. I never have. That doesn't mean I'm a bitch. The other day I caught the same girl that called me a bitch, giving me the dirtiest look ever in class. I've never said a word to the girl, but it's clear she kind of hates me. What gives her the right to pass judgement on me? I'm kind of thinking she's the bitch in this situation. 1) You shouldn't talk about people behind their backs and 2) Why give someone a horrible glance for no reason? I wanted to ask her what her problem was, but I figured it wasn't even worth my time.
Going back to the things I say being misinterpreted and my motives constantly being questioned. I seem to be in constant conflict with my mother about my spirituality. I feel like she just assumes she knows what I believe or don't believe in, when in fact she's completely clueless. She's constantly making me feel like a bad person because I don't believe in going to church. And she makes little remarks that make it seem like I'm some horrible, and Godless person. My spirituality is really none of her business. I feel like faith and spirituality should be very internalized things. I don't believe in shoving ones beliefs in the faces of others. The reality is that I'm probably one of the most spiritual people you'll ever meet. Just because I don't claim one religion as my own, doesn't mean I don't have faith in anything. I believe in the purity of blind faith, and I'm against the hypocracy within organized religion. But if I tried to explain that to my mother, it would immediately be heard incorrectly. All she would hear is "I'm against religion" and then she'd start praying for my "atheistic soul." It drives me absolutely mad.
I wish I could express myself verbally half as well as I can express myself when I write. I'm a very internally focused individual, and I'm tired of being misunderstood. Just because I'm shy, I'm automatically a bitch. Just because I look at things from a different angle, I'm soulless creature in need of prayer. I hate these opinions of me! I'm sure there are all sorts of other horrible things that people assume about me too. What ever happened to not judging a book by it's cover? I really wish people would read my book! (haha or blog in this case)
I guess to sum this post up, I just wish we'd all be a bit more open minded. I wish we would stop passing judgement upon people when we know nothing about them. If you're curious about a person, ask them questions. But please, if you ask someone about themself, be open to honestly listen to what they're saying. Don't just hear what you want to hear. We all are made up of so much more than what we see on the surface.
My challenge for you: Really listen to what people have to say. And please, never judge someone based on appearances.
In the World Religion class that I'm currently taking, we had to write a paper that was loosely related to a topic we had been discussing in class. We recently started a unit on Hinduism. I had never noticed the influence this religion has had on my own personal faith until I started reading more about it and comparing it to my own life. I've always had a very unique view on religion and faith, so I figured I'd post a bit of my paper on here to give a little insight into my own beliefs. I try to view the world with an open mind, and I give respect to all faiths and opinions. I just hope all readers of this excerpt will do the same. This is only a small portion of my personal beliefs, and I invite anyone to ask me more about my spirituality. I'm not ashamed of it, and I'm honestly developing it more and more each day. So here you go:
I was raised with a semi typical Christian background. For many years my knowledge of religion and faith was solely based on what my parents told me. Around the age of fourteen I began to become very interested in other parts of the world, and other forms of faith. The more different the views were from my own, the more interested I seemed to be in them. As I got older, and my knowledge of other faiths and areas of the world grew, so did my views of religion and spirituality. I went from having very strict Christian ideals, to much more liberal views of faith. Instead of focusing on a specific religion, I started to focus more on my internal spirituality. Today, instead of claiming one particular religion as my own, I tend to draw aspects from many faiths to create my own individual kind of spirituality. Some small parts of Hinduism have ended up in my custom made spirituality.
I have long believed in the Hindu concept of karma. It is the idea that every action has a consequence. It is the belief that we shape our own lives, and we are actually shaped by our actions. I don’t believe in reincarnation, so my idea of karma is certainly different from that of traditional Hinduism, but the basic ideas of it fit well within my lifestyle. I think a part of being human is having the hope that if we do good things, we will be rewarded for them. Hindus try to live a good life to ensure a good reincarnation in their next life, with the ultimate goal of reaching Nirvana. Christians try to live a good and moral life in hopes of attaining eternal life in Heaven. Both faiths also believe that if a person lives a bad and immoral life, they will be punished. In Hinduism a person can be reincarnated as an animal or insect. If someone lives a sinful life in Christianity, they will be punished with an eternity in Hell. So even though both faiths have a lot of differences, they are also quite similar.
I have quite recently taken up meditation, which can be a large aspect of the Hindu faith. When meditating, I’m not trying to obtain an altered sense of consciousness. I am however, trying to clear my mind, and center myself. Daily stresses can get people out of alignment mentally and spiritually. I try to take ten or fifteen minutes, on as close to a daily basis as possible, to sit in silence and reflect on my day. In this short span of time, I feel like I obtain mental clarity as well as spiritual clarity. Some people to pray to feel closer to God, meditation is like a form of prayer to me. With a clear head, I feel like I’m more receptive to any divine messages that could have been missed during my hectic day.
I don't claim to be a Hindu, nor do I claim to be an expert on this form of faith. These are just two small examples of how this religion has become a little piece of my life. Like I mentioned earlier, there are so many other aspects to my personal beliefs. They certainly couldn't all be summed up in one blog post. Perhaps I'll post more about my own spirituality in the future.
I have a challenge for you: Be open to learning more about people that have different beliefs than you. You don't have to convert to a new religion, but maybe you'll learn more about yourself in the process.
We all have our own beliefs or non-beliefs when it comes to things like religion and spirituality. I don't think any two people can have the exact same beliefs as another person. Maybe that's why it's so difficult for so many people to respect the religions, beliefs, and faith of others. Personally, I know exactly what I believe. At the same time, I am more than willing to learn about what other people believe. I'm quickly starting to realize that I fall into the minority when it comes to things like this though.
People just seem so closed off to anything different from what they hold as true. I'm taking a World Religions class at school. Today we began disscussing chapter one in the book and I immediately saw how negatively some people responded to religions different from their own. I can kind of respect people for wanting to defend their faith. I don't however like or agree with trying to make your religion seem superior to all others. Who or what gives someone the right to deny all other beliefs as false just because they deviate from their own ideas.
To me, it seems like the second someone has to bash or put down another form of spirituality, it just shows a crack in their own faith. It's as if they're saying "I can't prove my religion is better than yours, so I'm going to belittle your faith and make mine seem superior." If people would take a closer look, they would see the underlying common thread that most religions in the world today seem to share. Some people pray to Allah, others pray to God. Some find spirituality in a Bible, and some find it in nature. But ultimately we're all putting our faith into something that is beyond ourself. So who's to say that we're not all praying to the same divine power, just incarnated into different forms across different borders?
I have a feeling that statement alone will anger a lot of people. But think about it, Agnosticism gets a lot of flack from religious groups. However, how many of us can say that we understand our divine being, whether it be God or something else, completely? If anyone said they understood God completely, I'd call them a liar. Isn't that the point of God? He's incomprehendable, above us all, the beginning and the end, He's everywhere and nowhere at the same time. What mere mortal could even begin to fathom that sort of power?
Even though we can't understand it, we can respect and fear it. What makes us respect this enormous, unseen thing or being, but we can't respect eachother's religions? People are so hypocritical, it drives me mad. The Bible says "love thy neighbor" yet there are religious wars being raged at this very moment. I just wish everyone could practice their faith or lack of faith freely, without the fear of being judged or even killed for what they believe.
Religion, faith, and spirituality give most people a sense of calm. A feeling of unconditional love and grace. It can also be the spark of hatred and division amongst people. The world is a tough enough place without throwing religion into the middle of everything. I just wish that one day people will be able to accept the fact that not everyone is going to believe exactly like they do. So instead of fighting a losing battle, why not put down our arms, and perk up our ears. Learn about other faiths and people. You never know what you'll discover.
My challenge to you: Do a little research on a religion you don't know much about. Im sure you'll find something interesting. Perhaps you'll even find similarities to your own beliefs.
I've slowly come to the realization that people are just big, fat liars. They say one thing, and do the complete opposite of whatever it is they told you. One lie in particular that I seem to hear the most is that someone cares about me. I've heard it so many times. However, every person that has told me this, has hurt me on so many levels. I was under the impression (silly me) that we want to protect the people we care about, not hurt them.
Sure, I've heard of telling little lies to protect the people we care about, but I've never heard of blatently lying to someone we supposedly loved and cared about. What sick and twisted satisfaction do these liars get out of building us believers up, and tearing us down? If it's happened to you, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. These liars put you up on this pedestal, and make you feel like you're so secure, and that they'll be there to support you forever. Then out of nowhere, they disappear.
Sometimes they'll give you an excuse. The whole, "It's not you, it's me" line is always great. Other times they just vanish. Not even leaving a puff of smoke behind them. Maybe the "pressure" of caring for another soul got to heavy for them. Last time I checked, didn't science suggest the human soul weighs 21 grams? I don't know, but unless a person has the upper body strength of a flea, 21 grams doesn't seem like too much to carry around.
Maybe I'm the only person out here that continually keeps getting duped. Perhaps I'm just too guilible for my own good. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If you tell me something, I believe it. So for example when someone tells me they want to be in my life, I assume this statement means they actually want to be in my life. How foolish of me, right? Apparently what this statement means is "I want to show up in your life, give you some false hope that I'm sorry for the things I did and said in the past, and then I plan on leaving you again. Pretty much the exact same way I did before."
I just wish people had the capacity to be honest with one another. Stop giving people false hope. Stop leading them on. If you want to be in someone's life, be in it, and stay in it. Don't just show up whenever it's convenient for you. I know we all live busy lives, but in the time it takes to create a lie or walk out on someone, you could just sit down and be honest with them. Tell that person exactly what you want.
I didn't intentionally write a rant. I just get seriously frustrated with people and with myself. I'm afraid I'm setting myself up to get hurt constantly because of my optimistic attitude towards certain things and people. I'm tired of being lied to.
So my challenge for you: If you care about someone, don't lie to them. Honesty really is the best policy.
What is it that lets a person know they have found the person they are meant to be with forever? People are constantly saying "you just know" But the hell is it that they know? Is it possible for two people to be perfectly happy together, but they aren't meant to be together? Or what about people that make eachother miserable 99% of the time, but at the end of the day they're perfect for eachother? What makes a couple compatible?
Is it attraction that leads to a lasting relationship? There are millions of attractive people walking around out there, and I'm sure a ton of them are single. Everyone's idea of what's attractive is different. I remember a conversation I had with my sister years ago about what made a guy attractive. She began by describing the perfect physical features a guy could posess to her. I did the same. Sure, tall, dark and handsome might catch my eye more than scrawny, pale, and ginger, but looks only get you so far with me. I've never dated someone based on the way they look (haha trust me, if you could see some of them you'd know I wasn't lying). Everyone probably has a "type" that they are attracted to, but honestly, how many people actually end up with that kind of person?
Then again, attraction can't be based solely on looks. Aside from looks, the first thing I look for in someone is the abilty to hold my interest. I get bored very easily. I have a very unique sense of humor, and if you don't understand it, you can't possibly understand me. I've always had a different take on things. To me, the idea of monogomy sounds an awful lot like monotony. If a person wants to keep me, they have to keep me on the tip of my toes. I hate repetition. One thing I would be horrified with would be falling into a relationship that was too comfortable. I want to be with someone that is up for anything, and wants to challenge me.
When I say challenge me, I mean that in all aspects. I want my ideas to be challenged, make me look at things from a different perspective. I'm very stubborn, so I need someone equally stubborn. Passive attitudes are extremely annoying. I don't want someone that's just going to lay down and roll over. I want someone to butt heads with me, but at the end of the day we still respect eachother. A very attractive quality to me is having an opinon, and not being afraid to voice it. Even if I don't agree with a damn thing you're saying, say it. The fact that you stand behind something so firmly is sexy. I don't want a lap dog that agrees with everything I say.
I'd consider myself a pretty strong, and very independent person, but I don't want to make all the decisions. I can be very indecisive at times. I like it when a guy isn't afraid to take charge sometimes. This doesn't mean I want to be bossed around, but I hate it when a guy wants to let me make all of the decisions so I'm satisfied. Sometimes the most satisfying thing in the world is being able to sit back, and let someone else take the reigns every once in a while.
These are things that are attractive to me, but a person could possess all of these qualities and it still wouldn't mean they were perfect for me. I don't think attraction is the sole key to finding a soulmate. I believe passion is a also a key player. I want someone that is passionate about life. Someone with big dreams, and big ideas. I also believe a healthy amount of passion for eachother is helpful. If you're not sexually attracted to someone how could anything between the two of you last? I believe passion for the world outside, and passion behind drawn curtains have a lot to do with the longevity of a relationship.
I guess my conclusion is that attraction and passion are the two main factors in a lasting relationship. But then again, I believe there is this other unnamed thing. Something you can't put your finger on, but if it's missing you just know. I think it's that feeling at the pits of our stomachs that we all experience at some point or another. It's the thing that a lot of us tend to ignore. Which is why I think there are so many people out there still in relationships that they know wont last. Why stay with someone when you know it's simply not right?
On a much lighter note, when that thing is there you can feel it. Coursing through your veins. Igniting your heart with passion. The embers are constantly burning in that woodstove. You're completely attracted to that other person, and you feel it in every once of your being. When you know, you just know, and when it's wrong, you can feel it.
So my challenge to all of you: Assess the situation you're in right now. Do you know it's right? Or can you feel that something's missing?
Lindsey. Twenty-Five. Currently pursuing a degree in Professional Writing & Film Studies.